Відео

Ty for sharing your story- esp the choosing sides that FOO do was validating to hear as I am in the midst of it 🫶🏻

8:01 me too😭😭 I'm so sorry it happens to you too😟. My mother tortures me I'm exhausted and mind f****D🤯🤯🤯😭😭😭 9:43 omg the smirk ..... she knows EVERY button to press my triggers😱

Walking empty at 5:46 is: Schizoid empty core When child has no contact with reality, no contact with other people - the child feels estranged from his own life. The child has no self, no functioning self. He has identity disturbance. He has fragmented self. Self states. Pseudo-identities. He doesn't have central core. There is emptiness instead of core, we call this the schizoid empty core. This child feels he doesn't exist. When you don't exist, you can't have life, you can't own your life. Unable to inhabit his own life. This child become adult who retreats into familiar modes of infancy and remains fixated there. Leads to concept of inner child. Child like element inside us. IFS Model. Construct of inner child to induce healing. Sam Vaknin

I've been no contact for 25yrs

You cant speak to a parent who is jealous, rude, dismiissive, bitter, and hates their own life, they dont grow up and they intentionally withhold kind treatment, caring treatment or love etc, they believe its their right to speak to you any way they want. And since they have no motivation to treat you better, you have to leave them.

How's Trev Horn and Pedo Pete ... the pride of the community? Says nobody. Only quiet murmering as of yet.

What they all don't know could fill multiple 128GB flash drives.

Yet another big backfire, Lil Kim Gortz/Rudy Henry/Charles Harman? One of my fully-informed and tech-savvy publicists?

I do believe my Freeman friends could be some .. that last name is earned and his father only knew his step father.... 🤔

Love your material.

Until the scape goat 🐐 has receipts 🧾

If you are estranged from your parents, that means you simply don’t love them so why even ask if you should go to their funeral…i’m sure your parents don’t care at this point…people will say is respect to the death, well if there’s no respect while alive why should it be at death, hypocrisy or maybe a hope to be included in the inheritance?

I come from a difficult, and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my self-worth, I grew up homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape that and had to go great lengths to get away from him, I was lucky to have known the people that supported me and helped me with that process. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet, they thought I was a gift from grandma that passed away, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. What seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my psychological and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, their love was like a benchmark, I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am, I would hear a family member say “But he wasn’t raised that way!” “Oh it’s just gonna take time.” …and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I wouldn’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. I can still remember how my aunt was like “You’ve been going on 3 months!!” It’s just unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some online stranger on discord invalidates me and went on to say “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and another person made a negative comment about me wanting a life there with my family and he said “you don’t seem to realize you want a warped and distorted view of your family” and calls me a “poster child of emotional immaturity”. …even a former friend invalidated me and said to me in a negative tone “well they raised your brother and not you so he’s their kid” and that put more salt in the wound…and my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. She would ask me “What are the advantages that you think you have of being here?” but in my mind I’m like “I didn’t come here just so I can gain some kind of material advantages or benefits I came to have a life here with my family” I told her “I don’t know” and she was like “then why did you come live with us honey?” …It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life with their families and their siblings, I believe it is the most basic thing a kid can have… but I can’t? I’m not supposed to?… I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said “how on earth can you not be allowed just the same if not more”. I just wanted a life there with my family… Why would that be a wrong or reprehensible thing? I can’t believe that, I went through that whole process, of getting away from my father, and finally got to go live with my extended family, only for it to, pretty much, backfire? all because, “they raised my brother and not me”. I thought I would be their kid too….

Dad is my narcissist; I gave up on dealing with him.

My mom used to act very hurt and in pain whenever I accidentally bumped into her when I was a child. It would make me feel very very bad and guilty and i remember her smiling when i would say sorry or start to tear up. Now i realize it was all messed up

Great advice 👏

She’s fab

Thank you 🙏

@10:00 I know I am not bad now but because I no longer do, it no longer matches the family view and that now is the problem. It's sad to see this extended to other unknowing family members. You have to be bad so they can justify how they treat you. Going no contact is simply many times the only way with your new (and more accurate) view of one's self. Good video.

The incident hurt me that as I went no contact for very good reasons. My narcicistic parents told me, they don' t want to see me again because of all the things I did to them. I knew they will never ever understand what they did to me😢.

I'm not just the scapegoat, I'm also the fall guy the outcast the black sheep and thrown to the wolves 😐 But I'm emotionally managing to well ☯️

Could you please explain what you mean by "inheritance fraud" in the case of a child of the deceased? I've long been concerned my father will do the worst he possibly can to me through his will, but I don't know what that is or how to protect myself from that. He has tried to frame me for crimes in the past. Thank you for your content!

I went no contact with my daughter. It was difficult at first, but I was just so tired of the constant criticism and correcting. It get's easier over time. Best to focus on those who truely love and accept you as you are. Doesn't matter if they are your parents, child or whatever.

The dance of dysfunction and secret bullying and deceit continues after the death of the leaders- I am especially writing this to let people here know that after the death of the wicked leader people who may have been neutral can now join the side of the continued abusers. Take care of yourselves. Also therapists are frequently not good with this stuff and friends, close friends most likely will not get this either, that is despite professional training and roles and asking questions about how are things etc. All this I had to learn the very hard way. However- here is a safe and realistic space to speak. Thank you Mary.

i wont be going to my parents funerals but i might visit their graves at a later date if im passing and need to have a pee!

As I went no contact my narcicistic parents told me that they do not want to see me again because of all the things I did to them. Anyone experienced the same ?

My mom admitted to one of my sisters that she knew what she had accused me of wasn’t true, but it felt so good to say it, anyway. She then never apologized. I have had no contact with the family for the past several years.

I regret not to commit suicide when I was a child…I wanted so much but couldn’t get the courage to do it

Scapegoat right here

Thank you for this Gift 🎁

Thank you so much for what you have shared! I wish there had been somewhere or someone for me to turn to for help when I was a child but those options were not available to me at that time. I've sure learned a lot in the last year.

The bully or be bullied is accurate, and they don’t see how their actions as a group can affect your mental health/ living condition, later on you feel the need to be a certain way to not be bullied again, and question your self worth bc it’s acceptable for everyone to be terrible to you, and when you do something terrible they come validate even more harm, they’ll try to equate what you’ve done wrong and justify violating your body/privacy as “well deserved”

Been there , I call it the " official story " any one in this matrix is out of my universe , glad to be far far away

Female parent, male parent. I really like that 👍 it’s perfect term!

Carly Simon's song 1974 I Haven't Got Time for the Pain is a song I have always related to. Highly recommended (at least the lyrics) for all ages of scapegoats. :)

My mother has blatantly told me that I should feel sympathy because she feels guilty for the way she treated me. She didn't apologize, mind you. She just feels bad about it, and she would like my support.

Get your ticket for the Cycle Breakers Summit here: toolanm.krtra.com/t/3MnDkzto5WYf

Thank you Mary Toolan for your hard work. This is what has happened in my life. I have been recovering & trying to develop my sense of self for nine years. You can imagine the frustration & pain.

I was the scapegoat of a narcissistic mother and stepfather, I stepped away a year ago when my Mother tried to warn my new boyfriend that she hoped he was up for a challenge because I was so difficult. I was really happy and in love and had driven from Ireland to England to introduce him to them and taken them all out for a meal. My Mother spent the whole meal making little digs about me and trying to show me up as a bad person, then she made the comment about me difficult as we were leaving, after she said that she gave me a hug and told me she loved me, like it was the most normal thing in the world to say (which it was in my family, I had been told how difficult I was since about age 2, she told me she beat me up at this age, but I had driven her to it, and that even though she punched and kicked me I just stayed in a rage and hadn't been frightened, even at that age she justified her abuse by saying it was because I was so bad)

Don't forget if they discredit you they can take any inheritance

I feel bad for my sis.. She was the primary scapegoat. Usually, it makes u stronger for having endured, it did with me, but with her she just became the victim of life. It’s understandable. It’s weird I stood up for her and myself and quit talking to my family, she won’t talk to me anymore. I guess she’d rather take the abuse. It’s sad.

Haters are going to hate

Being a scapegoat is just what they do when they want to take their ugliness out on the victim to play big shot

Spot on.Thank you! My son directed me to this subject, and my confusion has ended. My adult children seek Truth as much as I do and for that there is gratitude. Decades of being bullied, disrespected and dismissed are all too clear now with mom seeming to enjoy watching and never stopping it. I know they all suffered abuses,but it wont help them for me to be a rug to kick around. Better things are coming as I look forward and do my best to detach and hope the best for my siblings from a distance.

yes helpful thank you!

Omg this is exactly what I have lived w forever. Thank u!

I entered back in to the family after watching all these videos to do a case study … it’s been fascinating!!!!

I wish you would give examples of what happened instead of all the vague stories.

Thank you ladies. It always amazes me how generation upon generation of dysfunction is passed down. Kudos to the cycle breakers. It comes at a cost but worth it.

3:04 The egg has content-fresh and vital vs rotten and stagnant.